Back to School Jitters

College freshmen have probably been packed and ready to go back to school/begin college for three months. That was me last year. This year, I’m taking it slow. (And also, nothing is fitting in my storage boxes at the moment.) I know what is coming and I’m not going to let my anxiety and fear get the best of me.

I had a really nice summer break. Although I still took classes at my local community college to get through a science general ed class, I also took a trip to San Diego, had some retail therapy, and binged on Netflix all summer. Oh, and I did my civil duty and went to jury duty for four days.

Last year at this time, I was so scared about what was going to happen once I was left at UCLA. I worried that my classes would be impossible to pass. I worried that I was the weakest, dumbest person that UCLA had accepted. I even read one of my textbooks a month early because I wanted to be prepared. I was very nervous and I even caught one of my stress colds about a week before I had to move in. I felt like the world was collapsing on me before I even ventured out.

But I got past that. Time passed. I ended the year in a major that I liked and my GPA rose 1.0 higher. I interviewed Tracy Dorman and Mary Nemecek Peterson, two of the original costume designers for The Lion King on Broadway for a term paper-and get this, the interview wasn’t even required by my professor for the paper. I emailed them because my paper was on how culture is portrayed in The Lion King and I was writing about the costumes that are worn during “One By One” and  after finding no information about it, I personally and desperately wanted to have a better understanding of the costumes. I was so happy when they replied to me. I was eating breakfast in the dining hall when my phone buzzed and it was such a happy moment.

And now I know that I have to take that happy moment and use it to keep me excited to go back for fall quarter. I have to look back on my trip to Disneyland and use it as emotional support for fall quarter (and proof that I am independent and badass enough to go to Disneyland by myself and still be totally caught up on homework, papers, and preparing for finals). I have to look at my passion for writing and reading and writing papers about what I read, and use it to be excited about going back for fall quarter. I made it through such a hard year and I can keep going forward. 

Because I like listicles, and my mind only works in lists, I’m going to make a list of the things that I would like to do this year/quarter. I might not get to do anything, but after making through one year, I know that I can.

1. Go to Harry Potter World

I think it’s pretty much a crime that me, a reader of Harry Potter at 7 years old, has not been to Harry Potter World yet. I am a Slytherin and I need to pay homage to my house.

2. Go to Leaky Con

I just found out that Leaky Con is going to be in Los Angeles for the first time, and after binge-watching A Very Potter Musical and the sequels, I think it would be interesting to go to Leaky Con. I also want Harry Potter merchandise.

3. See a show at the Pantages

I already missed Newsies, and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but seeing Darren Criss in Hedwig and the Angry Inch seems really cool. I like the musical. My favorite song is “Origin of Love.” (OR Hamilton. Even though I am a die-hard Hamilfan/Hamiltrash, I don’t have tickets and I don’t know what I’m going to do.)

4. Get a job

I actually have been hired! I am just waiting to see if the results of my background check are all clear. I’m supposed to start when I move in, and I’m so excited!

5. Go to Disneyland

Preferably during the fall so I can see the Halloween decorations! I have never been to Disneyland during Halloween and it seems SO COOL. I hope the group that I went with is planning to go again because we got a sweet deal and we went from opening to closing. It was so worth it! I’m still in awe that it happened.

So, my little college freshmen, don’t panic, but also panic. It is 100% completely okay to feel like everything in the world is going wrong every second of the day in college. I know that sounds awful, but you just have to trust the ghosts of college freshmen past that you will make it through those tough days.You will make it through those deadlines, finals, and office hours that seem like you’re walking on a tightrope. You can do this!


I can do this!

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